If You Want a Circus

If You Want a Circus….

            It is the delight of most children to go to the big top and see the clowns, elephants and lion tamers all at once in a three ring circus. There is another way though, instead of pushing through the madding crowd, rubbing against sticky, pink cotton candy, and enduring the whelps and hollers of a minion of excited children, simply request some peace and quiet to pursue any endeavor.  It is my duty to be the caregiver in the family, and this includes but is not limited to the pets.  I feed my cat, only one left, by hand.  That means that I stick some food on my finger and insert both finger and food into his mouth and he usually eats it or spits it out to be put in again.  Most of the time he is not adverse to my feeding him, in fact, often,  if I miss a beat, he just sits there and looks at me like I am not doing my duty, which basically, I am not. Other times, he is sick of the food and clamps his jaw shut much like a childproof container for anyone other than a child.   Now, to do this maneuver, I have to have the kitchen quiet, and calm.  If the cat gets distracted, he will close his jaw with or without my finger incased in said mouth.  I ask the group to be quiet when I am feeding him.  That is like asking the wind not to blow in a hurricane.  Thus, the circus with the lion tamer.

            Last night I thought that it was quiet and I had time to get the little rascal fed.  Bill, my husband, was sprawled out on the couch watching something quiet on the TV, Chris was in the office on line with his internet class, and Matt was at the gym working out.  Aha, this is the best time to feed the feline.  So I grabbed the alley rabbit and scurried him to the kitchen and the waiting food.  Two bites later, Bill decided he needed a snack and came into the kitchen and rattled bags and fooled around in the fridge.  The TV blared up with some advertisement about some loud product, trumpets, I think, (yes, even though it is denied by the television executives, the volume goes up with the ads in case someone snuck off into the kitchen).   Matt rang the bell and banged on the door finally to enter to the tune of a rap piece that he had picked up somewhere at 100 decibels.  Of course he was hungry too and came into the kitchen to retrieve a TastyKake where I was now struggling to remove my finger from the cat’s mouth.   The wrapper on the cake rattled and roared and refused to release the sweet treat, and a battle ensued between the ravenous young man and the cowardly cake, the likes of which have not been seen or heard since the Battle of the Bulge.  Once the cake was liberated, Bill and Matt had a heated debate over the tastiness of the icing.   Another bite from the aforementioned cat. 

            Then another bite along with a thumping throng down the steps as Chris decided that the lecture could wait while he got a snack.  With a decided thud, clatter, and bellow Chris thundered into the arena.  Another bite.  He sang as loud as his lungs would allow as he rumbled through the fridge to find something, which was not to his liking, and he mumbled like a Mach 2 motorcycle careening out of control through the kitchen.  The circus with elephants.

            The next morning with finger in band aid, I decided that I had a good time to feed the cat; it was quiet and we were alone.  I got out the food, put it gingerly in his dish and grabbed the sleeping feline from my bed and hustled him off to the kitchen for his meal.  With the first dollop of food, including the band aid, the phone rang and like Pavlov’s dog, I grabbed cat with food on finger and answered the phone, my mother, with nothing much to say.  I asked her if it was important and she said no, then as I absentmindedly rubbed the food all over my face, I explained that I needed to feed the cat and would she mind if I called her back. (That is of course if I can get the food out of my eye enough to see the phone numbers).  She said that would be fine, I dropped the phone on the table unable to hang up.  BEEP BEEP, IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A CALL…….  Then another dollop of food into cat. 

            Not to be foiled, the township workers and migrant landscapers decided that this would be the optimal time to mow the neighboring lawns.  So with mowers, whips, and hedge trimmers’ blaring and screaming into the air they began their work.  The mailman rang the bell numerous times to the tune of Tchaikovsky’s War of 1812 Overture, BOOM BOOM, to announce a package for Chris, and the phone continued its recorded harangue, beep, beep.   More food, more finger wrenching.  The cat squirmed, but I was determined to feed him the needed amount of slippery, peanut buttery, smelly food that he needs. The circus with clowns.

 Finished…..it is quiet.

            So if you ever want a circus, just announce that you need quiet and concentration to perform a task easily, or at least so your finger doesn’t get bitten off.  You will have a three ring circus at your fingertips…(That is unless your fingertips reside somewhere in the cat’s gut like mine). Or just visit me and join in the fun when I am feeding the cat.